MY ADVICE: LOSE CONTROL

Let God take over.

Stop whining and crying.

Stop trying to get your way.

His way is so much better.

May we all let go.

May we all lose control.

May we teach others to do the same.

EMPHASIS

Death is promised to the bee

Who's sting protects the colony.

Was its life worth nothing more

Than honey for the queen?

Life is a branch and it is a dove,

Handcrafted by confusing love.

Sign language is our reply,

When church bells make no sound.

In hollow towers and empty hives,

We craved sweetness with a fear of heights.

Was it all just a grain of sand

In an hourglass?

The smartest thing I've ever learned

Is that I don't have all the answers,

Just a little light to call my own.

Though it pales in comparison

To the overarching shadows,

A speck of light can reignite the sun

And swallow darkness whole.

Death is a cold, blindfolded kiss.

It is the finger pressed upon our lips.

It puts an unwanted emphasis

On how we should have lived.

Life is a gorgeous, broken gift.

Six billion+ pieces waiting to be fixed.

Love letters that were never signed,

Sent to where we live.

But the sweetest thing I've ever heard

Is that I don't have to have the answers,

Just a little light to call my own.

Though it pales in comparison

To the overarching shadows,

A speck of light can reignite the sun

And swallow darkness whole.

- Sleeping At Last

 

 

@TheSentientLife

You can now follow me and this blog on Twitter!

 

But I will try to post pictures of my tweets and retweets as often as I can for you too.

I hope you all love this new addition to the blog.

 

 

 

BREAK OFF THE BOUGH

Welcome to real life

What's in the cards?

Reason has folded

Passion departs

Cause you picked your poison

In the words of tainted hearts

There's a truth behind this folly

End is a start

So break off the bough

You want it all but you don't know how

You're shakin' on an autumn tree

You take a little part of me

What was the point of going insane?

Looking for solace, but nobody came

And the world waits on notice

Cause the time is running out

And this plan will get you nowhere

By yourself

So break off the bough

You want it all but you don't know how

You're shakin' on an autumn tree

You take a little part of me

Wake up the town

Show them all just what you're about

You're shakin' on an autumn tree

You take a little part of me

No more chasing ever after all

So long wasted life

Now it's your call

So break off the bough

You want it all but you don't know how

You're shakin' on an autumn tree

You take a little part of me

Break off the bough

You want it all but you don't know how

You're shakin' on an autumn tree

You take a little part of me

Turn the page, feel like you could own this day

You're shakin' on an autumn tree

You take a little part of me

You're shakin' on an autumn tree

You take a little part of me

You take a little part of me

 

- Cary Brothers

 

 

*You want to know more about me? Figure out this song.

If you can't, don't worry. I've been writing what it means to me in my head and heart for a few years now. I hope it ends up on this blog soon.

P.S. I LOVE Cary Brothers

 

HE SANG

Sunday morning on crowded road

I saw a man standing alone

He faced the mountains, his hands were raised

Like some prophet, his eyes in a blaze

Oh bring me the day

When the sun broke on his face

And he sang "glory"

And the sun would rise

He sang, "glory", with fire in his eyes

Above the engines and the shuffle of feet

His voice it carried over the trees

He sang for his children he sang for his home

And he sang for me though he didn't know

Oh bring me the day

When the sun broke on his face

And he sang "glory"

And the sun would rise

He sang, "glory", with fire in his eyes

 

 

-Peter Bradley Adams

 

 

 

 

 

IDENTITY (PLAN D)

I'm not a writer.

 

That's what I thought to myself earlier tonight, and I'm still processing how I feel about this feeling. It's a startling and frightening realization.

 

When I could no longer be the "athlete" or "student" or "athletic trainer" the second thought after, "My life is over!", was "Who am I without those things?!" The third, "What do I do with my life now?!"

 

It only took a few years of those questions to realize they are all the same. If you have to ask "Who am I?" and "What do I do now?" then you're already feeling like life is over. All that, those feelings and questions and fears point to the same thing: identity.

 

In our world we make our identity what we do. But not just that. We take it a step further into disillusionment. We truly believe our identity is not just what we do, but more importantly what we are good at. We make it even worse for ourselves by believing that if we aren't good at what we love to do, then we are no one. Right?

 

Please don't tell me I'm the only one who has figured that out.

Please don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way.

 

Years ago, on one of my first blogs, I had an epiphany about identity, and I thought it changed me. I really did. Turns out that lasted for maybe a couple years. But it was more like a month here, a week there. And I'm even starting to wonder if I ever wholeheartedly believed it, or if I was just trying to convince myself of the truth so vehemently that I thought I believed it. And I wanted it to be true so badly that I had convinced myself it was.

 

But since my identity hasn't been questioned because I'm disabled and thus no one asks what I do for a living, because being disabled is my answer, what I believed my identity to be never got tested--it never got proved or disproved. Until now.

 

I mean, in my head, I have an idea of who I am, what my identity is, but obviously tonight I realized my emotions speak more truth than whatever I attempt to float around in my mind.

 

I think it started when Mom and I watched an episode of The Menatalist earlier today that took place at a high school reunion. In which Patcrick Jane stated no one changes after high school--well, not our instincts he said. Not what drives us. Not our gut reactions and feelings towards everything and everyone...even and especially toward ourselves.

 

That got me thinking. Thinking very carefully about who I am. Am I still that same narcissistic, overdriven, type A personality whose instincts and reactions and feelings are that of a student athlete? Or that of a Christian?

 

Who am I?

Who do I wish I was?

Who do I pretend to be?

 

Just the other night I told someone very dear to me that she isn't her past. She isn't her faults or imperfections. She isn't what she hides. She isn't who she used to be. She isn't what this world thinks or even might think of her. She isn't what she is afraid they think she is. She is a child of God. Her identity comes from God. And it's a far better and truer and more fullfilling identity than anything this world has to offer.

 

We are who God says we are, I said. And I believed that. I still do. Or so I thought...

 

If someone, anyone, were to call me "A Writer" I would deny it. Can you believe that? I would deny it. It just doesn't sound right?

It just isn't true! I would think. You've got to be kidding me I would wonder. Yeah right?! Me, a writer. You're crazy! Thank you, but no! I'm not!

 

Well then Zoe, who are you?

 

Is that why you won't use your actual name? Because you're afraid the actual and whole you will be a writer, and not just a part of you that no one really knows?

 

Who are you Zoe?

Who do you pretend to be?

Who do you wish to be?

 

I don't know...I truly don't!

 

And yet, I keep writing. And I keep reading. And I genuinely and wholeheartedly want and need to share my story with the world.

 

I don't write because I want to. I write because I need to. Because I don't know how not to...because I'd be so much crazier than I already am without it.

 

And God seems to be encouraging and shaping and building this into a real thing for me. So, why can't I believe it or accept it?

 

Why can't I accept that part of my identity is being a writer?

Is it because I don't believe I'm legitimate or good?

Is it because I believe I'm just an Ameteur or a dabbler?

Or is it because I don't want this? Not badly enough...

Or is it because I never saw this coming?

Am I ashamed to be a writer?

Honestly, sometimes--wait, what?! Did I just think that out loud?!

I am, aren't I? Some part of me is ashamed to be a writer...wow. I JUST realized that. Right now! Just while writing this right now....

What?!?!?!

 

But why?

This hurts. And I know it's hurting God a bit too. I can feel it. I keep denying and running from where He has been trying to lead me to my whole life...simply because it wasn't what I thought I wanted?! Simply because it wasn't what I planned...how ridiculous! How spoiled I am acting and feeling!

There are a million reasons being a writer scares me.

But there are also a million reasons I kinda love it.

I don't love it as much as sports or school or athletic training, and I might never feel about writing the way I did about those things, but those things were going to destroy me, steal me from God. And writing, it only brings me, and I hope you, closer to Him. That's the only reason I gave into quitting Athletic Training all those years ago anyway. Because as I sat in the park writing how I felt about Stills and losing Atheltic Training, writing to God, I realized I'd never felt closer to Him--I'd never spent that much one on one time with Him! If I was going to lose what I loved to do, at least I got more of Him because of it...

Fear is holding me back. Fear keeps winning this argument inside, of who am I? Fear and selfishness and pride...

And I can't be the only one this is happening to. I can't be the only one God leads to Plan D. I can't be the only one afraid of Plan D. I can't be the only one denying it. Denying who we are. Who He wants us to be. I can't be the only one mad that this isn't Plan A or Plan B. Or even Plan C. We'd take Plan C, right? But Plan D?

I can't believe I'm denying it simply because it wasn't what I planned. Simply because I don't love it as much as Plans A-C. Who do I think I am?

That's the problem isn't it? I'm back to the world's definition of identity. Instead of His...

What if who He is telling us we are is what we do, it's just not the thing we wanted our identity to be.

And it's not so much our identity, as the world makes us label it, but more a calling. A calling to be whomever He needs us to be in His world to witness and help His people.

So does my identity come from Him?

Yes.

I AM a child to a Father.

I AM a servant to a Master.

I AM a sheep to a Shepherd.

I AM a princess of the King.

I AM a friend of God's.

I AM student of the Teacher's.

I AM a bride to the Bridegroom.

I'm not who I planned to be because I never planned to be His.

None of us did. We wanted to be doctors, or singers, or dancers, business men, or athletes, or fireman or superheroes. We never once wanted to be His child or sheep or student or servant. And yet, that is what we are destined for, and by the time it's too late, we will finally learn we got it all wrong. But I hope we don't. That's why I'm writing this.

Every ounce of my identity plan was wrong. But please God help me stop complaining and whining and running from who You want me to be, because I mean...

I mean, thank Him! that what I do is because of and through all of these identities: I write for the One who says what I am.

He made me a writer. That is how I get to be His child, servant, sheep, princess, friend, student, and bride. Through writing. It's not who I am. But it is what I do because of who I am, because of who He made me. And I pray, with all seriousness and strength and devotion, He helps me not just know that or think that, but believe it and live it too.

And if you are struggling with anything like this, I will be praying for you too.

You aren't what you do or don't do or do or don't love. You aren't Plans A, B, C, or D.

You are whoever He says you are.

And He is trying to say you are someone you're currently not.

But trust me, not matter how it feels when our emotions and this world lie to us, who He says we are will always be better than any plan of ours.

And maybe He is saying you could better be who He says you are by doing something you never thought you would do, something you never planned, something that scares you and possibly even something you're ashamed of simply because it's different from Plans A-C. If so...well, I get it. And I hope we both do something about it. Good luck.

I mean, isn't it about time we let who we actually are, which is who He says we are, guide what we do?

You are His, and maybe, just maybe, Plan D is exactly what will help you be a better you. Be a better child. Be a better sheep. Be a better student and servant. Even if it means losing everything else. Even if it means feeling lost and identityless for a bit. Even if it means accepting you are the last thing you thought or planned you would be: a writer. And be, not as an identity by the world's definition, but as a calling by His definition. His calling. His identity. For us. All of us.

He is the Author of this story after all. He is the Dictionary. He is the only one who knows the Truth. Why can't we accept that? Do we honestly believe this world and our story is better than His?

God,

I am Yours.

I am who You say I am.

I am a writer if that's what you want for my story, and I want to accept that.

I want my true identities to drive what I do.

I want You to drive what I do.

I choose Plan D, or E, or F, or G--so long as it's what You know is best for me.

So long as what I do is because of who I am, which is who You made me to be.

 

* I've written about identity before. I'm going to write about it again. But this is what I thought in 2008: Calming The Confusion

 

"PERFECT THROUGH SUFFERING"

 

 

 

 

 

* "Perfect Through Suffering" comes from Hebrews 2:10

 

YOU ARE

 

 

CARBON RIBS

A Thousand pairs of firey eyes

Burn like a serpent down the hwy 5
As the Long amber tail to Los Angeles unwinds
I've got resurrection down in side my skin
But for all my revealating
I just cant make sense
Of this gravity we're in

Cause I'm a dead man now
With a ghost who lives
Within the confines of
These carbon ribs
And one day when I'm free
I will sit
The cripple at your table
The cripple by your side

A thousand miles of pain I'm sure
Led you to the threshold
Of my hearts screen door
To tell me what it is I'm dying for
Gravity comes
Like a cold cold Rain
To lead me to the rope again
But someone is standing in my place

Cause I'm a dead man now
With a ghost who lives
Within the confines of
These carbon ribs
And one day when I'm free
I will sit
The cripple at your table
The cripple by your side
The cripple at your table
The cripple by your side

And I sit beside you
And I sit beside you
And I sit beside you
And I sit beside you

- John Mark McMillan

 

Posted with Blogsy

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

 

Posted with Blogsy

HOPE ANCHORS THE SOUL

 

Posted with Blogsy

THE HARDEST THING

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

CHAMPION

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

DESIDERATA

 

 

DESIDERATA (Latin: "Desired Things")

 

 

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment; it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann

©1927, 1952 Max Ehrmann

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE: THINK

CAR RADIO by 21 PILOTS

 

This is the perfect song to go with my "In The Secret" post. And before you think these guys are scary, crazy, insane, violent, or evil, especially because of the masks they often wear, or because they are different looking and acting than you think believers should look like or act like, please remember their main goal is to get you to think, to talk, to wonder, to ask why. Because to think is to be alive.

 

Besides, they don't just play music-they are music. They live it. Their punk, rock, schizo-pop, hardcore dance moves and masks shouldn't be the reason you don't like them. That's all I'm saying. Just because it looks different or sounds different, doesn't mean it's bad or evil. It's expressive and honest and real. It's just a different kind of worship than you're used to. But it's worship nonetheless.

 

"They will try with every rhyme to come across like they are dying to let you know you need to try to think."

 

No matter how much the silence hurts and lies and screams--no matter how violent it gets inside, as long as you're thinking, you're still alive.

 

"Peace will win and fear will lose. There's faith and there's sleep. We need to pick one please because faith is to be awake and to be awake is for us to think and for us to think is to be alive." Be alive!

 

To think, to sit in the silence, it hurts. We all know that. We hide our pain and it lashes out in the dark and still and quiet and empty. It is violent. But it's also proof you're alive. Alive! And every time you get through the silence, a new sun will rise and that brings an opportunity to seek joy. And at night, overwhelmed by the secret silence, we need to remind ourselves to stop breaking because we are unhappy, and start thriving and believing and living, because that is where joy is found. Protect it.

 

Choose to think. Not to sleep.

 

What a beautiful and profound way to look at life when it's at its darkest and most painful.

 

I also like to think, personally, their masks are a way of hiding, from the silence and the pain. Showing us they get it. They feel it. They've been there. They're there right now. Hiding a part of themselves like we all do. I also like to hope they also don't mind the anonymity, like me. Because it's not about us. It's about you. And Him. Our talents aren't ours, and thus you don't need to know who we are. We can hide our faces, I can hide my real name, because those things don't matter. You matter. Truth matters. God's truth. Faith, hope, joy, thinking, being alive--that's what it should be about. At least that's what I hope, and I believe they hope for the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAR RADIO

 

I ponder of something great

My lungs will fill and then deflate

They fill with fire

Exhale desire

I know it's dire

My time today

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

Sometimes quiet is violent

I find it hard to hide it

My pride is no longer inside

It's on my sleeve

My skin will scream

Reminding me of

Who I killed inside my dream

I hate this car that I'm driving

There's no hiding for me

I'm forced to deal with what I feel

There is no distraction to mask what is real

I could pull the steering wheel

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

I ponder of something terrifying

'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind

I find over the course of our human existence

One thing consists of consistence

And it's that we're all battling fear

Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here

Oh my,

Too deep

Please stop thinking

I liked it better when my car had sound

 

There are things we can do

But from the things that work there are only two

And from the two that we choose to do

Peace will win

And fear will lose

There's faith and there's sleep

We need to pick one please because

Faith is to be awake

And to be awake is for us to think

And for us to think is to be alive

And I will try with every rhyme

To come across like I am dying

To let you know you need to try to think

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

(Techno Solo)

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

I ponder of something great

My lungs will fill and then deflate

They fill with fire

Exhale desire

I know it's dire

My time today

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

21 PILOTS

 

The band 21 Pilots is a crazy, perfect combination of the music I listened to freshman year of high school, as I began to try to figure life out, began to attempt to figure myself out (which I got all wrong by the way), including the mess of feelings inside, with lyrics that resonate with what I believe, and think, and question, and feel today, everyday, especially at night, when fear doesn't let me sleep.

 

 

Even if their style of music isn't for you, I recommend spending time online with their lyrics. They make you think, about what actually matters...

 

Perfect example? Their biography (or overall message).

 

Check this out from their website: 21 Pilots

 

 

 

BIOGRAPHY:

"Basically, we are all responsible for the preservation of our personal joy; but happiness is different. Joy is not circumstantial, happiness is. You can be depressed and still have joy. You can be suicidal and still have joy. We all stop thinking and we all stop talking and we all stop sharing and we all stop creating, because by doing any of These things we quickly find out just how unhappy we are. But that’s okay. That’s normal. Don’t let the fear of unhappiness cripple your pursuit of finding what it is you believe. Since joy is found in belief, we all have to push through unhappiness to find joy."

 

 

 

 

 

Brilliant. Truth.

 

Posted with Blogsy

IN THE SECRET

 

It's a Chris Tomlin Song: In The Secret. It's an oldie but a goody.

 

These are some of my favorite lyrics ever, especially this time of night, when the world is quiet and it seems and feels like I get God all to myself.

 

I especially love strumming it on my guitar in the darkness at 2:00 am as I feel His love echo through the vibrations in the guitar's body back to me. As if in that moment His love is finally tangible. I can almost feel it harmonize with my soul.

 

But it isn't always like this, is it? It is actually rarely like that. Insomnia is almost never associated with perfect moments with God. It's those young hours of the morning that we almost fear the most, right? I know I do.

 

How many more times can I watch 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development, Phineas And Ferb, Scrubs, The Disney Channel, Chuck, and/or listen to the same music and read the same books, and diddle time away on my iPad for hours until I'm sick of it all and bored out of my mind, simply from tying to escape my mind?

 

Escape my mind. If only it were that easy.

 

It's in those moments, in the quiet, in the secret, left alone with one of the scariest places and things we can think of: our minds, that we learn the most, the truth, about who we are and who we want to be.

 

We are shown just how much darkness and how much light we are made up of. We finally can't escape ourselves, which we spend all day trying to do, and our inner self isn't what we pretend it to be. We are lonely, neurotic, whiny, spoiled, selfish, impatient, fleshy beings and we do all we can to pretend to others, to God, and to ourselves, that we aren't. But silence screams the truth. And the truth sucks.

 

We've all been there, haven't we? Wide awake at 3 in the morning, suddenly and horribly alone in the darkness. Aware of our loneliness, aware of our fears, aware of our secrets, all of which seem to almost ravenously feed off the silence and shadows of our bedroom walls, rapidly growing into the beast of a thing we know lives inside our chests somewhere, the beast we try to hide every moment of every day. But the beast lives and thrives in the pitch black of night, is empowered by screaming silence, strengthened by exhausted boredom, and ubiquitous in insomnia. It's the awareness of self that can be the most disheartening, the most destructive.

 

Aware. That's what Donald Miller believes happened at The Fall: we became aware of ourselves and thus dustinguished and disconnected ourselves from God, to become separate from Him. He could no longer speak Truth into our lives and beliefs. Instead we wanted to know it all. And "it all" is just too much.

 

"It all", with the Devil's plan working well, was/is lies, barely rooted in truth, but truth enough to tear us even farther from Him. Lies being fed into the mouth of the beast inside. Lies encouraging the flesh to control us. We know too much, are overwhelmed with information, which we can't fully understand or handle because we are meer humans, and that leads us into the shadow of death, or shadows, which we fear and are aware we may never escape, unless we somehow change and fight the lies. Unless we truly believe there is nothing to fear for He is with us.

 

It's just at 3 am "it all" is too much. How do we override all that information? How do we stop it? How do we overcome it? Is any of that even possible?! Do we have a choice when the darkness falls and awakes the animal, or ID, inside at random hours in the middle of the night? That dumb craeture that can't see the whole picture or find a way to notice God is in fact there with us. Do we have a choice, when we feel more alone and despondent than ever, to overcome the lies? Can we chose to seek light while engrossed by the shadows of night?

 

Yes!

 

I know there are times that seems crazy. If not all the time. It sounds crazy even to me! I even hate typing this right now! If you had only seen how hopeless I felt just last night! How I agonized all night in pain and did nothing about it but put the TV on quietly in the background to distract my broken loop of selfish, whiny, miserable, and horrible thoughts--but the ever nagging, unrelenting imp of the perverse just wouldn't give up last night...if you knew all that, the truth, my truth, you would know I am the biggest hypocrite in the world! But what writer isn't?! You would know I can't practice what I preach. Never on a regualr basis. And please don't ever assume that I can or do, because it just ins't true. I need what I write just as much, if not more than all of you...but does that really mean I should stop preaching it? To you? To myself? To others?

 

Some nights we feel there is literally nothing we can do to feel better. I know that and have lived that and have explained that. Some nights the idea of turning our attention to God instead of lonliness, pain, fatigue, despair, fear and minds screaming lies into our hearts seems like the most impossible thing in the world. But, despite the lies trying to convince us we can't escape those moments or thoughts or feelings, the same moments and thoughts and feelings I feel every night, no matter what the darkness tries to make us believe, we can stop it. We can turn towards God's light and Truth. No matter how much information is overloading us. No matter how many "half" truths decieve us. No matter how easy it is to believe the darkness, we can change how the rest of our sleepless nights turn out.

 

It's hard! It goes against all the bad habits we've built over the years! Trust me, I know that! It is so much easier for us to slip into depression than it is to find our way into joy. I've had years of despondence I thought I would never escape! This world does "belong" to the Devil....and our sentiments and thoughts definitely attest to that.

 

But we don't! We belong to God! And if we fight our human nature, and focus on Him and His light and His Truth, and follow our souls, that electrical energy that is magnetized to Him, perhaps we can bypass our flesh and let our souls guide the way.

 

That time of night you do have a choice: you can either feel you are all alone and drown in that lie, or you can bask in the Truth of His presence. It's always a choice. I forget that way too often. Especially lately.

 

But once I think this song, think the words consciously, sing the lyrics, strum them, the whole night can change. It's almost instantaneous, but some nights it does take a lot longer. But still, I can walk towards the light and away from my own darkness. I have to fight for it at first, and I mean fight. But it soon feels natural and easy. I just remind myself I want to know Him more, not myself. It can be almost that simple, it really can. Just

 

Change Your Perspective!

 

Because He is there, in the secret, in the quiet place. In the stillness He is there. In the secret, in the quiet hour, wait for Him, only for Him.

 

Shake the lies out of your soul!

Shake the dust that's settled around it!

Shake the tears off your cheeks!

Shake yourself into His presence!

 

Stop noticing who isn't there (like friends, family, co-workers, your boyfriend or husband or wife) and remember He is. And He wants to know you more. It's time we show Him we feel the same way.

 

In the secret, in those lonely, dark hours of hopelessness, choose God. Remember His Truths. Seek Him out. Stop wallowing. Stop complaining. Stop believing there is nothing you/we can do. Look around... Hear how quiet it is... Feel how secret that moment is... and invite God into it with you.

 

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

RAIN (LYRICS) By BISHOP ALLEN

bed clothes, why am i in bed clothes?

watching out the window

watching what i don't know

on the fire escape now

hands they start to shake now

ready for the rail to break now

and i'm awake at last awake

cursing, rattling and cursing

go ahead and do your worst then

your worst that i can take

oh let the rain fall down

and wash this world away

oh let the sky be grey

cause if its ever gonna get any better

its gotta get worse for a day

morning, where am i this morning?

now its really pouring,

crawling up this shore

and i walk the neighborhood

and umbrella does no good

and i guess its in my blood

couldn't stop the flood

drowning, everything is drowning

go ahead and take the town

the town is yours to take

oh let the rain fall down

and wash this world away

oh let the sky be grey

cause if its ever gonna get any better

its gotta get worse for a day

calling, calling, falling, falling

grab on my guitar

and paddle with both my arms

headed where the voices are

i'll end up far so far away

oh let the rain fall down

and wash this world away

or let the sky be grey

cause if its ever gonna get any better

its gotta get worse for a day

its gotta get worse for a day

its gotta get worse for a day

its gotta get worse for a day

i know

its gotta get worse for a day

 

Posted with Blogsy

RAIN

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

LOVE & PAIN: THE INTOLERABLE COMPLIMENT

"Love can forbear, and Love can forgive...but Love can never be reconciled to an unlovely object...He can never therefore be reconciled to your sin, because sin in itself is incapable of being altered; but He may be reconciled to your person, because that may be restored."

 

- TRAHERNE, Centuries of Meditation, II, 30

 

 

The only thing that changes a character in a story is conflict: pain. It makes us restore ourselves, be our best selves.

 

 

"And that is why tribulations cannot cease until God ever sees us remade or see that our remaking is now hopeless." -C. S. Lewis (The Problem of Pain)

 

 

So, since I know there isn't a one of us who isn't suffering right now, please, please remember that God is doing everything He can to restore you into a lovely object as free of sin as possible so that He, being perfect Love, can be reconciled to you.

 

In a sense, you are suffering BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU and wants to love you completely.

 

I know that's not what any of us WANT to hear, but it's what we NEED to hear and remember...

 

I have forgotten that. It slipped into my deep subconscious because it is easier to be an unlovely object than an object free of sin ready to be reconciled to Him, to Love. It's time I, we, know and believe the truth about suffering, about Love and pain, about the purpose of being sentient.

 

So we pray,

 

Lord, when we get weak, when we are unlovely objects, when we are full of sin, please do all that You can to restore us, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us, so we can finally be fully restored to You, to Love. Thank you Lord for loving us enough to take the time to restore us to You. Amen

 

 

"He has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most inexorable sense." - C. S. Lewis (The Problem of Pain)

 

Posted with Blogsy