DESIDERATA

 

 

DESIDERATA (Latin: "Desired Things")

 

 

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment; it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann

©1927, 1952 Max Ehrmann

 

 

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AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE: THINK

CAR RADIO by 21 PILOTS

 

This is the perfect song to go with my "In The Secret" post. And before you think these guys are scary, crazy, insane, violent, or evil, especially because of the masks they often wear, or because they are different looking and acting than you think believers should look like or act like, please remember their main goal is to get you to think, to talk, to wonder, to ask why. Because to think is to be alive.

 

Besides, they don't just play music-they are music. They live it. Their punk, rock, schizo-pop, hardcore dance moves and masks shouldn't be the reason you don't like them. That's all I'm saying. Just because it looks different or sounds different, doesn't mean it's bad or evil. It's expressive and honest and real. It's just a different kind of worship than you're used to. But it's worship nonetheless.

 

"They will try with every rhyme to come across like they are dying to let you know you need to try to think."

 

No matter how much the silence hurts and lies and screams--no matter how violent it gets inside, as long as you're thinking, you're still alive.

 

"Peace will win and fear will lose. There's faith and there's sleep. We need to pick one please because faith is to be awake and to be awake is for us to think and for us to think is to be alive." Be alive!

 

To think, to sit in the silence, it hurts. We all know that. We hide our pain and it lashes out in the dark and still and quiet and empty. It is violent. But it's also proof you're alive. Alive! And every time you get through the silence, a new sun will rise and that brings an opportunity to seek joy. And at night, overwhelmed by the secret silence, we need to remind ourselves to stop breaking because we are unhappy, and start thriving and believing and living, because that is where joy is found. Protect it.

 

Choose to think. Not to sleep.

 

What a beautiful and profound way to look at life when it's at its darkest and most painful.

 

I also like to think, personally, their masks are a way of hiding, from the silence and the pain. Showing us they get it. They feel it. They've been there. They're there right now. Hiding a part of themselves like we all do. I also like to hope they also don't mind the anonymity, like me. Because it's not about us. It's about you. And Him. Our talents aren't ours, and thus you don't need to know who we are. We can hide our faces, I can hide my real name, because those things don't matter. You matter. Truth matters. God's truth. Faith, hope, joy, thinking, being alive--that's what it should be about. At least that's what I hope, and I believe they hope for the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAR RADIO

 

I ponder of something great

My lungs will fill and then deflate

They fill with fire

Exhale desire

I know it's dire

My time today

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

Sometimes quiet is violent

I find it hard to hide it

My pride is no longer inside

It's on my sleeve

My skin will scream

Reminding me of

Who I killed inside my dream

I hate this car that I'm driving

There's no hiding for me

I'm forced to deal with what I feel

There is no distraction to mask what is real

I could pull the steering wheel

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

I ponder of something terrifying

'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind

I find over the course of our human existence

One thing consists of consistence

And it's that we're all battling fear

Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here

Oh my,

Too deep

Please stop thinking

I liked it better when my car had sound

 

There are things we can do

But from the things that work there are only two

And from the two that we choose to do

Peace will win

And fear will lose

There's faith and there's sleep

We need to pick one please because

Faith is to be awake

And to be awake is for us to think

And for us to think is to be alive

And I will try with every rhyme

To come across like I am dying

To let you know you need to try to think

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

(Techno Solo)

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!

I ponder of something great

My lungs will fill and then deflate

They fill with fire

Exhale desire

I know it's dire

My time today

 

I have these thoughts

So often I ought

To replace that slot

With what I once bought

'Cause somebody stole

My car radio

And now I just sit in silence

 

 

 

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21 PILOTS

 

The band 21 Pilots is a crazy, perfect combination of the music I listened to freshman year of high school, as I began to try to figure life out, began to attempt to figure myself out (which I got all wrong by the way), including the mess of feelings inside, with lyrics that resonate with what I believe, and think, and question, and feel today, everyday, especially at night, when fear doesn't let me sleep.

 

 

Even if their style of music isn't for you, I recommend spending time online with their lyrics. They make you think, about what actually matters...

 

Perfect example? Their biography (or overall message).

 

Check this out from their website: 21 Pilots

 

 

 

BIOGRAPHY:

"Basically, we are all responsible for the preservation of our personal joy; but happiness is different. Joy is not circumstantial, happiness is. You can be depressed and still have joy. You can be suicidal and still have joy. We all stop thinking and we all stop talking and we all stop sharing and we all stop creating, because by doing any of These things we quickly find out just how unhappy we are. But that’s okay. That’s normal. Don’t let the fear of unhappiness cripple your pursuit of finding what it is you believe. Since joy is found in belief, we all have to push through unhappiness to find joy."

 

 

 

 

 

Brilliant. Truth.

 

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IN THE SECRET

 

It's a Chris Tomlin Song: In The Secret. It's an oldie but a goody.

 

These are some of my favorite lyrics ever, especially this time of night, when the world is quiet and it seems and feels like I get God all to myself.

 

I especially love strumming it on my guitar in the darkness at 2:00 am as I feel His love echo through the vibrations in the guitar's body back to me. As if in that moment His love is finally tangible. I can almost feel it harmonize with my soul.

 

But it isn't always like this, is it? It is actually rarely like that. Insomnia is almost never associated with perfect moments with God. It's those young hours of the morning that we almost fear the most, right? I know I do.

 

How many more times can I watch 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development, Phineas And Ferb, Scrubs, The Disney Channel, Chuck, and/or listen to the same music and read the same books, and diddle time away on my iPad for hours until I'm sick of it all and bored out of my mind, simply from tying to escape my mind?

 

Escape my mind. If only it were that easy.

 

It's in those moments, in the quiet, in the secret, left alone with one of the scariest places and things we can think of: our minds, that we learn the most, the truth, about who we are and who we want to be.

 

We are shown just how much darkness and how much light we are made up of. We finally can't escape ourselves, which we spend all day trying to do, and our inner self isn't what we pretend it to be. We are lonely, neurotic, whiny, spoiled, selfish, impatient, fleshy beings and we do all we can to pretend to others, to God, and to ourselves, that we aren't. But silence screams the truth. And the truth sucks.

 

We've all been there, haven't we? Wide awake at 3 in the morning, suddenly and horribly alone in the darkness. Aware of our loneliness, aware of our fears, aware of our secrets, all of which seem to almost ravenously feed off the silence and shadows of our bedroom walls, rapidly growing into the beast of a thing we know lives inside our chests somewhere, the beast we try to hide every moment of every day. But the beast lives and thrives in the pitch black of night, is empowered by screaming silence, strengthened by exhausted boredom, and ubiquitous in insomnia. It's the awareness of self that can be the most disheartening, the most destructive.

 

Aware. That's what Donald Miller believes happened at The Fall: we became aware of ourselves and thus dustinguished and disconnected ourselves from God, to become separate from Him. He could no longer speak Truth into our lives and beliefs. Instead we wanted to know it all. And "it all" is just too much.

 

"It all", with the Devil's plan working well, was/is lies, barely rooted in truth, but truth enough to tear us even farther from Him. Lies being fed into the mouth of the beast inside. Lies encouraging the flesh to control us. We know too much, are overwhelmed with information, which we can't fully understand or handle because we are meer humans, and that leads us into the shadow of death, or shadows, which we fear and are aware we may never escape, unless we somehow change and fight the lies. Unless we truly believe there is nothing to fear for He is with us.

 

It's just at 3 am "it all" is too much. How do we override all that information? How do we stop it? How do we overcome it? Is any of that even possible?! Do we have a choice when the darkness falls and awakes the animal, or ID, inside at random hours in the middle of the night? That dumb craeture that can't see the whole picture or find a way to notice God is in fact there with us. Do we have a choice, when we feel more alone and despondent than ever, to overcome the lies? Can we chose to seek light while engrossed by the shadows of night?

 

Yes!

 

I know there are times that seems crazy. If not all the time. It sounds crazy even to me! I even hate typing this right now! If you had only seen how hopeless I felt just last night! How I agonized all night in pain and did nothing about it but put the TV on quietly in the background to distract my broken loop of selfish, whiny, miserable, and horrible thoughts--but the ever nagging, unrelenting imp of the perverse just wouldn't give up last night...if you knew all that, the truth, my truth, you would know I am the biggest hypocrite in the world! But what writer isn't?! You would know I can't practice what I preach. Never on a regualr basis. And please don't ever assume that I can or do, because it just ins't true. I need what I write just as much, if not more than all of you...but does that really mean I should stop preaching it? To you? To myself? To others?

 

Some nights we feel there is literally nothing we can do to feel better. I know that and have lived that and have explained that. Some nights the idea of turning our attention to God instead of lonliness, pain, fatigue, despair, fear and minds screaming lies into our hearts seems like the most impossible thing in the world. But, despite the lies trying to convince us we can't escape those moments or thoughts or feelings, the same moments and thoughts and feelings I feel every night, no matter what the darkness tries to make us believe, we can stop it. We can turn towards God's light and Truth. No matter how much information is overloading us. No matter how many "half" truths decieve us. No matter how easy it is to believe the darkness, we can change how the rest of our sleepless nights turn out.

 

It's hard! It goes against all the bad habits we've built over the years! Trust me, I know that! It is so much easier for us to slip into depression than it is to find our way into joy. I've had years of despondence I thought I would never escape! This world does "belong" to the Devil....and our sentiments and thoughts definitely attest to that.

 

But we don't! We belong to God! And if we fight our human nature, and focus on Him and His light and His Truth, and follow our souls, that electrical energy that is magnetized to Him, perhaps we can bypass our flesh and let our souls guide the way.

 

That time of night you do have a choice: you can either feel you are all alone and drown in that lie, or you can bask in the Truth of His presence. It's always a choice. I forget that way too often. Especially lately.

 

But once I think this song, think the words consciously, sing the lyrics, strum them, the whole night can change. It's almost instantaneous, but some nights it does take a lot longer. But still, I can walk towards the light and away from my own darkness. I have to fight for it at first, and I mean fight. But it soon feels natural and easy. I just remind myself I want to know Him more, not myself. It can be almost that simple, it really can. Just

 

Change Your Perspective!

 

Because He is there, in the secret, in the quiet place. In the stillness He is there. In the secret, in the quiet hour, wait for Him, only for Him.

 

Shake the lies out of your soul!

Shake the dust that's settled around it!

Shake the tears off your cheeks!

Shake yourself into His presence!

 

Stop noticing who isn't there (like friends, family, co-workers, your boyfriend or husband or wife) and remember He is. And He wants to know you more. It's time we show Him we feel the same way.

 

In the secret, in those lonely, dark hours of hopelessness, choose God. Remember His Truths. Seek Him out. Stop wallowing. Stop complaining. Stop believing there is nothing you/we can do. Look around... Hear how quiet it is... Feel how secret that moment is... and invite God into it with you.

 

 

 

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