You Have Something!

I've always tried to tell myself, "If you have something to complain about, you have SOMETHING."

But I couldn't be more bored. I never used to think it was possible to be sick of watching tv. Well, it is. And of Netflix, and even of watching Ellen! It's ridiculous. And yet, it makes me laugh.

I can't color--I can barely type this--because my hands, wrists, and forearms are so sore and inflamed. Holding a book hurts. I can't help but laugh, it's just so...crazy. Who would have thought, you know?

I'm staring at my Lego box that is taunting me. My beautiful tv is taunting me. And Amanda can testify how pretty it is...oh, the guitars: tormenting me.

There's this song by The John Butler Trio; I can't remember which one, but here's the lyric:

"the grass may be greener (on the other side), but it's just as hard to mow."

And it makes me smile every time I hear it. It gives me perspective.

There are, there really are, a lot of people who envy my life, even if just for a second. They wonder what it would be like to have nothing to do. I don't blame you; I just think you are crazy foolish.

There will never be any form of art, ever, to explain to you the withdrawals there were for years. It was like a detox from being busy.

Every time you do something it sends a specific chemical to your brain. The more you do that something, the more your brain gets used to that chemical. And so it wants more. And more. And more. Suddenly, you are addicted, well your brain is, to that chemical, and thus to whatever you were doing:

Be it shopping (the pleasure center loves lighting up when we go shopping)

Be it exercising.

Be it over-working. Being too busy.

Whatever.

I was addicted to multitasking and being busy. I didn't know how not to. And then suddenly I couldn't anymore. I couldn't and cant multitask for the life of me. It was hell.

It's gotten a bit better over the last seven years, or maybe my brain is addicted to the slow life, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. Too much of almost anything is a horrible thing. And I feel, here and there, as if I'm drowning in boredom. In a complete lack of everything. It hurts. Not physically of course--I actually couldn't tell you what it hurts...I just know it hurts. It saddens me. It depresses me. But I'm not foolish enough to think that if I got my old life back I would be much or any better.

We always want what we don't have. We always think the grass will be greener if only this and if only that. But I've learned enough sitting around doing nothing but staring into corners over thinking and over analyzing life to know, it really is just as hard to mow, no matter what life you have.

So, stomp your feet, cry out to God, get those emotions out, complain. But then, take a steps back, realize what you do have and don't obsess over what you don't, and then just smile. It's all going to be ok; in fact it probably is. I guarantee you there is something wherever you are that has the potential to make you smile. You just have to find it, and let it.

The last post was deeply emotional. And that's ok. There is a time for that. But, don't allow it to be all the time. And there is a time to be logical, but don't let yourself be logical all the time. Don't let your brain get addicted to one more than the other. The key is balance. The key is perspective. The key is not to beat yourself up. The key is to, well, be emotional first, and logical second. And to hire someone to mow your grass. I think God could use some more work. Try asking Him. Take care everyone. Realize whatever that SOMETHING is you are complaining about and realize it is still SOMETHING. Think of all those people who have nothing.

My husband never cleans up after himself! (At least you have a husband)

I worked so much overtime this week! (At least you have a job)

My sister is so annoying! (At least you have a sister)

My mom and dad are so embarrassing! (At least you have a mom and dad)

My student loans are never going to get paid off! (At least you got an education)

This house is such a mess! (At least you have a house)

I'm too tired to make my bed--this was mine! (At least I have a bed)

I'm so bored! (At least I'm free to make my own decisions)

My body is so sore! (At least you are alive)


You get it, right? I ask you play the complaining/something game for a bit right now. It will change everything.