Once upon a time I felt this way. I hate to admit that every once in a while I still do. All I know, is that He is listening.
This is from Everwood, the tv show, season one, episode 8: Till Death Do Us Part.
SCENE #30: INT. EVERWOOD'S HOPE CHURCH. NIGHT.
Andy enters the church tentatively. Wet from the rain. He looks around, sees that it's empty, completely angry. He finds a pew in the middle, enters.
Andy kneels awkwardly, uncertain: this is what you do, right?
He clasps his hands together, closes his eyes and bows his head. Nothing comes. He waits for inspiration. It doesn't arrive. He opens his eyes, looks up,
DOCTOR BROWN
One year ago today. That was the last time I knew life was worth living. All my dreams died with Julia. I wake up every day and I wish I were still asleep. The thing is, my heart's still pumping, I'm still breathing, I still move in the world, but I've lost my joy.
(beat)
We don't talk a lot. I don't complain to you, I don't ask for favors, I don't whine about fairness. And I've never believed you owed me anything. But I'm telling you right now, I've got nothing left.
(beat)
I used to have a gift. Now everything I touch -- everyone I touch -- is just as broken as I am.
(beat)
I've got two kids. Who need a mother and a father. These days I'm not much good to anyone, let alone them.
(beat)
I thought I knew what you needed from me. I thought I knew what my life was about...I don't know anything...You got to help me.
(beat)
(crying) Please, please, give me my joy back. (crying)
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