I'M STILL TALKING TO MYSELF

"It's one of my theories that when people give you advice, they're just really talking to themselves in the past. This book is me talking to a previous version of myself." - Austin Kleon

Kleon is right. I couldn't have said it better myself. For years I thought I was writing for all of you, so you could learn now what I learned when it was almost too late. The truth though, is that I write for me, and to me.

I wish I could get the younger version of myself to listen to what I know now. But, I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't have wanted to hear a single word of it. Not just because I was an adolescent, but because I didn't want to believe this Truth. I loved my lies. They made sense. They were easier than the Truth. It was too scary to imagine I had it wrong the whole time, so I continued pretending I was right.

Every word I type is me talking to myself. I only put it online because I know I can't be the only one who thinks or feels this way, or who needs to hear the Truth, even if it's for the 100th time. Because, honestly, it often doesn't matter how many times we hear the Truth, we still don't do anything about it. Not yet anyways.

"Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again." - Andre Gide

So look, I'm gonna repeat myself, and the tone can get really honest and harsh on here really quickly. At the end of the day, I'm yelling at the old me, and the current me who hasn't completely listened to the me I want to be, ok? But I'm asking all of you to be honest with yourselves. If you could, would you be saying these things to your old selves? Your current selves? Just think about that.

Memoirists say you don't know who you are until you tell your story. This blog is me trying to figure out who I was, who I am, and who I am striving to be. You'd do well to do the same. We'd do well to encourage each other to do this as often as we can.

And look, I know it's easier not to take the time in our day to ask these kinds of questions, and it's even easier to think we don't have the time to ask these questions. But the Truth is, from someone talking to her former self, you need to make time. It's more important than you can even imagine. You need to know who you are in comparison to who you were and who you want to be. I don't know how you know how to live your life if you don't ask these questions and find their answers. They tell you what is and isn't necessary. For all you know, you could be wasting hours of your day every day on something that has nothing to do with who you are striving to be. Who you want to be tells you what you need to do. It is terrifyingly that simple, and it will turn your whole world upside down, and you may not be ready for that now. But your choice is face it now, or wait for God to give you no other choice later. Either way, asking the big questions is vital to your faith and life. It's now because you choose Truth, or it's later when God makes you face the Truth, usually at a very inopportune time. It doesn't seem like it's your choice, but it is. Sorry.

I hope none of you feel like I'm scolding you with advice. Seriously, that would break my heart. I've had people shove their ideas, religions, thoughts, and opinions down my throat. It stole my peace for weeks, sometimes months. I was so angry.

I don't want my audience to feel angry. I want you to feel inspired. Inspired to take a closer look at everything. Not just yourselves and your lives, but each other, nature, God, art, books, television. Just look more closely at everything because I never used to and I'm upset about it.

And hey, feel free to comment what you would love to tell your former self. We all have a ton we can learn from each other. It's about time we communicate our pasts to prevent other people's futures from looking just like them. So please share your Truth with me, with us. Trust me, I need all the help I can get, and I bet I'm not the only one. Continue the conversation below. Take care. And good luck.

 

Posted with Blogsy