A Great Story: I DO Know What I Want

I used to have a lot of dreams. Goals. Desires. Wishes. I wanted all kinds of things. And I thought I deserved them simply because I wanted them and was willing to work for them no matter the cost. But they consumed me and kept me from desiring what I should. So God took them away to remove the temptation.

Softball. Sports. School. My dream job. Friends. Family. Independence. Gone.

Do you know what I want and desire now? Neither do I. I want nothing.

I don't care about "The House" or "The Car" or "The Job" or any of the corrupted American Dream anymore. And I used to think something was wrong with me for wanting nothing that the rest of the world, especially America, wants. I thought it made me so broken I couldn't be fixed. Simply because I was no longer like everyone else.

Guess what? Tonight I realized something, as I lie here crying, lonely, so painfully aware of our brokenness, aware of our unending need for a Savior: I do know what I want.

I want now what I've only wanted since diagnosed with Stills once reality kicked in: I want nothing more than to be on the shore of a lake in the Pacific Northwest by a campfire with Christ. No one else. Nothing else. I want Him, all of Him, all to myself.

Do you think I ever wanted that while I had all those other distractions in my life? Never! Not once while healthy did I ever desire for nothing but to be alone with Christ!

God saved me. He fixed me. He healed me. I used to want crap that only drove me further from Him. Now ALL I want is Him! That's the miracle! That's the point!

A great story is made up of a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't want all the things the world wants. I thought I wasn't living a story. I thought I was stuck. In a funk. Broken. A lost cause left to just sit and watch life pass me by...I thought I had it all wrong.Ha! The Devil is tricky indeed.

You know, in high school I wanted so desperately to be able to hit a softball off a tee well and consistently well. It's laughable almost because it's so foolish. Tell me, what does hitting a ball off a tee have to do with being Christian and serving God and preparing for heaven? The Devil is crafty indeed.

My story. That God is writing with me and for me because He loves me...

I am a character, and ALL I want is to be on a lake with Christ. And I will overcome conflict to get it. And there is only one story better than this: God's, and His love for us all.

God is the author and character in His story. All He wants is for all of us to be together and love each other perfectly. And He will overcome conflict, like His only Son's death, the Devil's selfishness, and our constant rebellion, to get it. To let love be Love in its purest of forms. And it will be the greatest story ever told. And I can't wait for its ending--beginning.

Whatever you want most right now-- that's what your story is about. Is that what it should be about? Is it time to start living a better, more beautiful, more meaningful story with God? My guess? Yeah. Probably. Be careful of what you want and how much you want it. And I'm saying all this BECAUSE I love you all. I had it all wrong and God helped me. Let Him help you. Please.